Vikings/49ers Pick 1-11-20
One of my favorite episodes of Shameless is the one where Kevin gets mad at Veronica for having better orgasms when she sleeps with Svetlana. He feels like he needs some leverage so he decides to try to become gay as a way of evening things out. The problem is, he is not gay which becomes apparent when he gets some dude to show him his junk in the mens room of a bar. In the end he learns a valuable lesson about himself and he is able to find a better solution to his Veronica problem. This is exactly how I am approaching this Vikings game today. Kind of.
I need some leverage on my Saturday afternoon/evening because I obviously have to bet the NFL Games. That goes without saying. But it pisses me off that I have to lay seven points with Jimmy G so much so that I am thinking about betting on Kirk Cousins. This is exactly what Kevin went through in that episode when he tried to go gay. It boils down to this. Can a guy who thinks he has been a borderline, somewhat informed sports bettor (straight man in this example) do something like all the sudden bet Kirk Cousins in a must win game (equates to turning gay in this example)? It is literally the same thing as a straight guy thinking he can just all the sudden be gay. The only difference is between my situation and Kevin’s is, I think I have found a way to bet on Kirk Cousins in a big game (turn gay) without actually having to bet Kirk Cousins in a big game (touch another man’s junk).
I think what I will have to do is tease the Vikings up to +13.5. I won’t lay seven with Jimmy G, so I definitely like my chances at 13.5. It’s not that I think Jimmy G is a bad quarterback, it is just that he is not what the media makes him out to be. When you look at his numbers, he is pretty much Kirk Cousins with more than twice as many interceptions and a lower QB rating. If we are being honest, I would take Cousins over him. Both of these teams want to run the ball which should limit possessions. All we need is for the Vikings to keep the game close and we are gold.
The issue with teasing is that you need to find another game to go with it but that should not be a problem here because the second game of the day is the Titans/Ravens. Taking the over 41 in this one (with the 6 point tease) is like stealing. The Tennessee Titans just won the Super Bowl last week and most of those guys are probably still half in the bag. The issue is, their “Super Bowl” win was a game against the most overrated team in the NFL, the New England Patriots. They only needed 14 points to do it which is absurd.
Here is what’s going to happen. The Ravens are going to kick the crap out of the Titans hungover defense. Only eleven teams in the NFL gave up more rushing yards to opposing quarterbacks than the Titans and they didn’t really play any “real” rushing quarterbacks. Jameis got 53 yards on them for christ’s sake. I think the Ravens can hang this number by themselves but if we get some “Rudy” type nonsense, then we are covered because there is no chance this game goes under 41 if the Titans actually put up a fight. See you guys at the cashier’s cage after the game.
Vikings/49ers Pick 1-11-20 (Lines are at 5Dimes)
2 Team 6 Point Teaser
- Vikings +13
- Titans/Ravens Over 41
Every teaser bet I make is to win 1% of my bankroll
Vikings/49ers Pick 1-11-20